United Nations Council is set to debate the Jimmy & Riddlesworth question. Meanwhile their search for Santa continues!!

Crisis at Christmas!
The Civil Aviation Authority have given Jimmy & Riddlesworth an official warning. After their collision with an Iceberg their License to fly a delivery van might be revoked.

Jimmy, Riddlesworth and I were on BBC Radio Norfolk today talking about my e book "A Message for Freddie" - THE SEARCH CONTINUES
http://www.tagmanpress.com/store.php?c=26&p=98

Forget Monopoly this Xmas. Why not play "Where's Freddie?" The first person to find him will win a prize. To get you started - his father was in the US Air Force and was based at USAF Sculthorpe England in 1959.

Easy!!!

Not!

please help me to find him in time for Xmas. Thank you.

HettyHummer was designed and built to travel to the ends of the earth - and then to let her rider test his/her limits when they got there. She is the most versatile vehicle on the planet, letting you connect with the outdoors in ways that you never dreamed possible. She is distinctly unique - just like the person who drives her!

I've just written a play in 3 minutes!! Beat that Mr Shakespeare?

"Hetty - The Inalienable One"  for a cast of 4 actors and a mobility scooter and set in a factory (somewhere), a Park (anywhere) and a Garage (mine)!

I remember what was

and dream of what will be

Remembering and dreaming

present, past and future

united in a moment!

how did that happen?

The Tagman Press: A Message for Freddie - Roger Chamberlain

The Tagman Press: A Message for Freddie - Roger Chamberlain: This short story by North Norfolk writer, Roger Chamberlain, is the first title in our new series of Tagman E-Tales and also Roger's debut...

A Message For Freddie" is published on Kindle today - only 99p. A bargain and cheaper than a cup of coffee too!
Check it out - please!

The Apothecary's Tale is nearly finished.
It has not ended up where I originally intended it to; its direction changed as I wrote.
Thanks Tony!
It is still set in the middle ages but has become a historical tale warning of the dangers of Love and the misuse of drugs.
(I didn't see that coming)
AND to my even greater surprise - Religion wins in the end.
(this time anyway)!!

I promise that when I finish "The Apothecary's Tale" I'll stop writing and actually read someone else's stories for once.
I've promised before of course but each time another story interrupts me and even Tony Grey's stern telling-off doesn't make any difference.
I'm frightened - if I ignore a new idea it might go away forever.
Maybe I'll ring the Samaritan's? 
But not until I've finished this one!

The Photograph

We all have them - old photographs that we forget and seem to end up in the most unexpected places. Here, one resurfaces after being lost for over forty years. Only, it also shows a reflection in the window of a building. The search for its origin draws me deeper into the picture and into my own story.

I eventually find the answer to the greatest mystery of them all and, believe me, it’s delicious!

Hetty Hummer and I have just blagged our way into the NN Railway's 40's Event (again)!
This year I even dressed up in costume (overalls) as I thought that I couldn't possibly get away with it for three years in a row. But I did!
I told a group of admirers her story - she was used by Eisenhower during well earned R&R on the Golf Courses of Normandy after the D Day landings. They had the cheek to tell me that she was painted with the "wrong colour green". sorry "Color"!
I'm devastated!!
Next year I'll paint her sky blue and tell them that she was parachuted in!

My latest story "The Photograph" has now grown (and groaned) to nearly 12k words and is easily my longest 'short' story to date (I have longer 'book length' stories already written).
I hope to finish it soon, or, at least prior to the imminent publication of "Freddie". I also have to re-visit "Jimmy & Riddlesworth Save Christmas", prior to its pre-Christmas publication. How would you like THEM to appear in your stockings?
My book covers have been designed by a brilliant Frenchman who's brain appears to be as confusing as mine. My Editor also lives in France, so maybe I need to make my next hero a French Elf.
It's about time Jimmy and Riddlesworth had a girlfriend. Oo La La!

The Book Cover has been designed and approved for the publication of my "A Message for Freddie" story.
Publication now imminent!

Why read books? Just writing stories sends me on enough crazy adventures and to far more exciting places than even I can ever imagine!

I wrote my "The Olympic Flame" story over a month ago; proving that fact really does follow in fiction's wake. Perhaps I should write a book about economics next?
Hold on to your hats!

"Me et Moi together - a Norfolk Oddity!"

1

Nov

2012

Tagman Press Roadshow

01 November 2012 15:30

Virginia Court Hotel, Cromer

Readings from Roger Chamberlain (new Tagman Press Writer) about his adventures on mobility scooter Hetty and Anthony Grey (author, journalist and former EDP reporter) about his time as a hostage in Ch...

Read moreCost: various GBP

Festivals, Fetes, Carnivals and Country Shows   |   @ Virginia Court Hotel, Cromer

WARNING!
Beware of Fiction running ahead of Fact (and the Olympic Torch). "The Flame of Olympia" is now finished AND the Torch Relay hasn't even reached my home town of Holt. The story is set in the future - the 2012 Olympic Games. 
Fiction is the Future and the Future IS Fiction! 

A Fiddler and a Crab sat watching the sun setting over the sea.

The Crab turned to the Fiddler and said, “THIS is the time to play a happy tune?”

The Fiddler replied, “Of course I will, dear Crab, I’ll do it just for you.”

“Oh no, not for me,” said the Crab, as he bit his big toe, “You really should do it for thee!”

My latest story "The Olympic Flame" is finished AND well ahead of the Olympic Torch Relay. The first Gold for Team Norfolk!

Back in the mists of time there was a mountain in Greece whose peaceful summit was crowned with fruitful green olive groves and majestic stone Temples - the most luxurious Temples that the Gods, with the help of man, could possibly build. The Gods’ earthly homes or so the story goes!

On one specific day thousands of years ago the mists of time parted very briefly, long enough to be replaced by a more substantial heat haze! It was hot, very hot, on Mount Olympia.

It was also hot, very hot, hundreds of miles away at another place called Olympia; a confusing name for both me and most ancient Greek Postmen! Here, a flame was being lit for the first time on an Altar outside the Temple of Hera; a flame that was destined to change the world forever - due to the ingenuity of an old man with a flowing white beard, a boy called Archos, a donkey and a mysterious girl who may/may not be the old man’s granddaughter!

In modern times, we assume that we light a NEW flame for the Olympics every four years, or do we? Has anyone ever checked? Has anyone ever LOOKED properly?

It appears just the same as it did all those centuries ago.

Only two people, a young man called Archie and a girl who may/may not be his girlfriend, know the answer to this perplexing question!

So far, my latest story 'The Torch Bearer's Bucket' has reached the inside of a yellow BMW in the Olympic Torch Relay Procession. I am writing it faster than the Torch Bearer can run. It WILL reach London before the Flame, but will the result be the same?

Sammy - my latest story (number 31).
I wrote it in an hour (2000 words). Perhaps I should write them this way more often!
We are descended from Apes. Who do Apes think they are descended from?

At last, after countless re-writes - 'One fridge, two elves and a blue elephant' - is finished. Time for a cup of Earl Grey tea I think - not!

My latest childrens' tale might have a new name - "Two elves, one fridge and a blue elephant!"

Rog has been drinking in ‘The Rampant Pig’ all day and for much of the night.

The Landlord eventually says to him, “Come on Rog, it’s time you went home?” 

He replies, “OK Elvis, I'll be on my way then.”

Rog steps off his stool, by the bar, and falls flat on his face. “Shoite”

He pulls himself up using the stool and dusts himself off.

He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, again! “Shoite, Shoite!” 

After a few seconds, to get his bearings, he takes a long, sideways, look at the door.

He thinks, “If I can reach the door and get some fresh air, I’ll be fine.”

He crawls to the door on his belly and pulls himself up, using the door frame.

He opens the door and sticks his head outside, taking in a long deep breath of fresh wholesome air.

Feeling much better now, he steps out onto the pavement and falls flat on his face! 

“Bloody Hell, I really must be pissed,” he confirms. 

His house is not far away so he crawls to the front door and hauls himself upright using the door frame. The door opens without too much effort and he works his way in. He reaches the stairs using the wall for support.

He looks up the stairs. “Oh, no fockin' way!”

Undaunted, he crawls up the stairs on all fours, to the bedroom door.

He congratulates himself “That was easy!”

He climbs up, using the door frame, opens the door and makes a grab for the wall.

The wall was not where he felt that it should have been, so he falls flat on his face, again!

“bu**er” he mutters.

He manages to crawl across the room and climb into bed.

The next morning, his wife comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee. “Get up Rog. You had too much to drink last night, didn’t you?” 

Rog replies, “I did, Kat, sorry. I was fockin' pissed. How did you guess?” 

“The Landlord of the ‘Rampant Pig’ phoned to tell me that you left your wheelchair in the pub, again!”

A small Op, last week has interrupted my flow.
Normal service WILL be resumed shortly!

I still have some old photographs/memorabilia of the Little Theatre, Sheringham from the time when my father ran it, in the 1960's. Looking through the pictures, I was reminded of many happy memories from those years. The Theatre, the Actors and growing up as a child in Sheringham, Norfolk. 

As a result, I have just completed a story about those times. It is partly autobiographical and partly fiction. However, the future may tell us that the story is ALL autobiographical. 

So if you buy a copy, read the small print on the cover, my notes may have changed - the future may already be here!

It will be published later this year, by the Tagman Press. 

Wheelchair Wisdom - a selection of thoughts and short stories from Roger Chamberlain - The Holt Scribe.

My head is now firmly stuck in my new story! 'The elf, the fridge and the mobility scooter'. I am as excited, as anyone, to see where the adventure takes me. No doubt, there will be the usual 'twist' at the end. I can't wait!

I passed a toilet yesterday which had a long queue outside. Mr Cameron must have suggested that there is now a national shortage of toilet paper!

Following Mr Cameron's suggestion, I have just topped up my mobility scooter with petrol. Yes, I know, it's electric - but you just can't be too careful, can you?

Somewhere, in deepest rural Norfolk, there is a small wood. This is not just any wood, it's a special wood, a wood that hasn't been trodden in (by human's) for over ten thousand years.
It was missed when William The Conqueror's loyal scribes' catalogued England in the eleventh century and has remained un-owned by any human ever since. Actually, even the Romans missed it.
Before they came along with their big toga's and hobnail boots, humans had more important things to worry about than the ownership of a little wood in deepest Norfolk.
You may be wondering how I come to know about it then?
Well, only by accident, really!

I was exploring the farmland and lanes around my home town of Hummersby on my loyal mobility scooter Hetty one day, when we rounded a corner and collided with a slow moving, fridge!
We had no time to wonder why, or how, the fridge came to be blocking our path. We were instantly pelted with a tar-aide of elfish abuse which did nothing to alleviate Hetty's broken front axle.

From that moment, we found that we had entered another world. A world very different from ours; and yet, perhaps it was OUR world that was different, not this one!
Maybe WE had just inadvertently collided with the real world. After all, unlike ours, this one hadn't changed for thousands of years.
OR HAD IT!

This is the beginning of my new scribble!
copyright - R. Chamberlain

J&R in Zanusiland
or
J&R Through The Hotpoint.

or maybe "Jimmy and Riddlesworth in Zanusiland" (I'm making a hot-point!)

Next Story "Jimmy and Riddlesworth enter the freezer" My two elf brothers accidentally embark on, yet another, compelling adventure!

I was hoping to write Sam's story daily, from his diaries. Unfortunately, my brain will not work that slowly!
Sam's Breeches I suspect, will become another story/book. My first with American content.
Until then, I will try to complete my latest novel - a detective story spanning 800 years!!
That is, if I don't get interrupted by another idea first!

Mind you with the imminent publication of my first Novel and E Book, who knows what distractions this year will herald!

The Diary of Samuel Dodman - 3rd March 1791
I'm still feeling ill but not as ill as Billy looks! I had to send his manservant into Town today to fetch the Doctor to him. The only cure the Doctor gave was to tell him to drink plenty of water. The advise cost 3 shillings! It's a good job the medicine is free!
It looks like Billy intends to stay with me and accompany me to the States. When he's better, I'll ask if he can get us some more claret - to oil us until we leave!!

Sam’s drinking partner was William Short (Billy) who later became the US Ambassador to France. He was Thomas Jefferson’s deputy, at this time (Thomas Jefferson – later president - was the US Ambassador to France).

Why was he in England? Why was he in Norfolk meeting Sam? Was he on a secret mission, sent by Jefferson or George Washington? Were the British authorities aware of his visit?

AND, WHAT DID ALL THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SAM’S NORFOLK BREECHES?

The breeches held the key – Revolution and uncertainty was rocking France and Europe. Britain’s George the Third was becoming increasingly insane.

Important people on both sides of the Atlantic were determined to ensure that, if Revolution spread to Britain, our Monarchy was preserved and Britain remained stable. It was in both the United States and British interests to keep the States free from French or Spanish Colonial aims.

The States HAD to remain a safe refuge, in times of European trouble and Sam’s Breeches held the Key! 

The Diary of Samuel Dodman 26 February 1791
Today I rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
r  and two flintlocks!

I have been translating Samuel Dodman's 1791 diary, almost daily, onto my HettyHummer Blog. Maybe I should put it on here instead (or as well).
I have had a peak into his later entries for 1791 - when he arrives in the 'fledgling' USA for the first time (with his Norfolk Breeches). I now know how important they were to George Washington and the future survival of the Country.
The diary proves that without British help (especially Sam's help), the USA would not exist today. Without Sam's Norfolk Breeches (Britches) the World would be very different!

The Holt Scribe is poorly today (MS). I've only been able to translate today's page from Samuel Dodman's 1791 Diary.
I am beginning to like old Sam! (see HettyHummer)

"The Ballad of Sidney Sparrow".
A poem (non rhyming) for those of us who hate poems!

View my HettyHummer Blog to see my 'repertoire'
currently translating the Diaries of Sam Dodman - YES - the same man who lent his britches (Breeches) to George Washington!
Also the poetry of Drogo Camerarius (Twelfth century Anglo-Norman thinker from Norwich, England). - perhaps the Worlds first stand-up comedian!
The Inalienable One
The Hetty Hummer Trilogies
The Plumbs
Danny's Progress
The Crass Letters etc etc

This is it. In only 18 months I have written over 6 books and fifteen short stories. Many will soon be published by the Tagman Press.
ALL because I am now disabled and confined, largely, to my laptop.
BUT, I have had an active and varied life. Why not share it!